Get out of your head!
How are you? Really?... Regardless of the challenges, difficulties, problems, ups and downs of this life we all have, in the body we are in, somehow, we want to be able to maintain some sense of harmony, balance and peace within ourselves so we can move through these parts with a little more ease and grace rather than being thrown into a spiral of doom, gloom and misery. And most of our suffering comes from "being in our heads" rather than the heart, in the present. It's certainly not an easy task and one that requires constant reflection and navigation, always a work in progress, as we, our situations, relationships and lives shift and change. Many things we are unaware of have been deeply engrained over time, happening on autopilot.
So, what can we DO about all of this? How do we get to the roots of our suffering, into the depths of ourselves, to peel away the layers, look IN to the cause of our behaviours, habits, traits, responses and reactions to things? We could just carry on and ignore, push it all down, take some pills, drugs, have another drink, smoke, distract ourselves, to forget or numb the pain and not feel, which is what is happening all over the world, across generations, and is in no way contributing to improving our lives, relationships or the social fabric of society. (something I did for a long time) And this is only YOUR responsibility to take on, if you wish. It's easy to blame others, the government, big food, big pharma etc but really when it comes down to it, the only thing we do have any control of really, is ourselves. We all have "stuff", it's just different from each other, we all have things to deal with and it's not helpful to compare your problems or life with others. This is where we can see that having compassion (karuna) and empathy for our fellow humans is so vital to being able to heal and to understand that sometimes we do things that offend or hurt others, knowingly or un-knowingly, none of us are perfect. This doesn't excuse shitty behavior, so we must communicate clearly and navigate our way through these things, but maybe, we can be a little more patient or kind as we do, judging less... most people I know are doing the best they can with what they have.
The biggest game changer and tool for me in this process has been meditation, a daily practice of sitting with one-self, reflecting, noticing and unraveling the layers of the mind. Breathwork is also a helpful, complimentary tool to meditation, a bridge if you will from the externally influenced mind chatter, helping us channel the river of mind towards the internal, where the true self can reveal its essence. It is not going to be easy, and you don't have to clear your mind of thoughts to be doing it right, just sit, practice, DO, the process IS the thing. Seek guidance if you're not sure where to begin, start with 10 mins, build from there. A wonderful way to begin a daily practice which we teach here at Samahita, is moving through Gratitude (feeling it in your heart with sincerity), Forgiveness (to self and others) and Guidance (asking for help) every morning. Journaling or writing can also be a helpful tool to process your thoughts in a coherent way, to look back and reflect upon. And of course, if you are really struggling, finding it difficult to work through, integrate and shift some things in your life, seek help, find a coach or therapist to guide you on your path to liberation!
Some other key points to consider on your journey that will have a tremendous impact on your wellbeing, mental health and evolution:
- Love the skin you're in! Look for and work with your positive attributes, natural talents and blessings.
- Keep looking at your own stuff (and sometimes this can be hard, especially when we see things we don't like #truthbombs), where can we make improvements, how can we rectify mistakes, change patterns.
- Say sorry, ask for forgiveness, do your best not to repeat certain behaviours, actions, responses.
- Be open to constructive feedback and advice from friends, family, peers, this is how we grow, through becoming aware.
- If you have had a difficult past and bad things happened to you, don't allow that to define you now, release your story a little. You can rise above your circumstances and shape a new future for yourself, it takes time, effort and a whole lot of grit!
- Try not to take things personally, and don't get offended by everything you disagree with, it's impossible for billions of people to like the same things and have the same opinions. (plus, these differences make life interesting, and you unique!)
- Try to look at things from the middle way, swinging to extremes easily pulls us into the US vs THEM mindset causing more separation, negativity, difficulty.
- See things from different perspectives, put yourself in someone else's shoes.
- Whilst it is good to have a positive outlook and mindset, don't bypass and bury emotions that arise, see, feel, process and then let go.
- Nourish yourself with healthy food, exercise, hobbies, connecting with friends, spending time in nature, helping others where you can, and find your outlet to reflect.
- Life is complex, the human experience full of layers and depth. The best place to look for answers and insight is within you, your heart.
- And one of the main keys to our happiness, JOY! Cultivate it, live it, BE it.
Life is tricky, and we all slip, fall off the path from time to time, just try your best each day, take care of yourself and the planet in any small way, start from where you are, with what you have and keep the momentum going. You got this!
Thank you for reading and as always, feel free to reach out if you need a friend or just wanna say hi! Small changes have the potential to create big ripples and eventually make waves.
Books - The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel Van Der Kalk)
Podcasts - Mel Robbins and Gabor Mate - Why you feel lost in life https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bpPXifdViiJ88jusuJ4qa?si=3f15590212a546c8
YouTube - Dr Joe Dispenza - Break the Habit of Being Yourself Dr Joe Dispenza - Break the Habit of Being Yourself
Articles and resources of interest:
Erikson's Stages of Development - "Erik Erikson (1902–1994) proposed a lifespan model of development, emphasizing how social relationships shape our sense of self. He suggested we pass through eight stages, each marked by a central conflict, or psychosocial crisis, that must be resolved for healthy personality growth."
The Long-Term Effects of Trauma on Mental Health: Understanding the Connection - "Trauma isn’t something you just “get over.” Its echoes can linger for years, reshaping how your brain works, how you feel and even how your body responds to stress. Understanding the long-term effects of trauma is the first step toward reclaiming your well-being. Read on to learn how to spot the signs of trauma and how to start healing."
The Path to Personal Growth | Psychology Today -
Steps to personal growth include learning how to respond better to situations and finding those we can learn from on our journey.
Reframing our mindset to be more solution-focused than reactive can ultimately help make our lives happier.
It is important to find a teacher whose teachings and philosophy resonate with you, and to apply their principles to your own life.
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners | Mindfulness.com